i loved the movie! i saw it twice this weekend. holding off on HP because i have to read a book for an IMPACT discussion this weekend. HP will be next week!!

tess, you are so right about johnny depp.



"yippee!"

-boo

Whoa, sadness... why does it rear its ugly head around all of us. Many of us are asking, "what is the meaning of this sadness, loneliness, etc."?

I have had the suckyiest of weeks-- I don't think my verbal skills are skilllicious enough to describe the greasy holes, oil dripping furnaces, and oil soaked clothes I have had to endure the past two weeks (The "chokey" in Matilda best describes the place I work and the holes I have had to clean the last week and a half for the factory's shut down). Today, alone, I went through a uniform, a pair of socks, and a pair of shoelaces because an oil pump backfired all over me.

As the oil slowly leaked down my neck, my very expensive girl underroos, and down my socks, and into my boots, all I could think of is, "Why God... why do people have to live this life every day? How do they go on?"

God is probably so sick of hearing that question from me lately. I ask it everytime I hear, see, or experience sadness in my life. And his answer has always been simple throughout-- "Don't you see the contrast, Holly? God = good, world=bad. Why don't you just appreciate what is good instead of being bummed about the bad ?(God was much more eloquent than me, I just summed it up in my own words)."

From what I hear, we are all sad, bombarded, and confused. I think God is just calling us to be glad with the good, but we are bent on focusing on the bad. Maybe I am simplifying the problem-- Yes... I am. The problems in our lives are great-- but not as great as the poor woman on Oprah today who was stabbed over 50 times by her husband, awoke in the hospital to find out that he had killed their two children, received no warning from her husband that he would do such a thing, and who probably wished she would have died instead of lived, and you know what is sadder? I don't know if she knew the Lord. She must have though... I don't know how she would balance it out otherwise.

Dang, we wrap our lives around a "significant other" or lack thereof sometimes. Whoa, can they fail our expectations of delivering us a happy life. There is only one deliverer.

It seems Good and Bad are on a big balance scale. I think we spend a lot of our time jumping on the Bad side, trying to make it seem a lot worse than it is and trying to out jump God, who is pushing down on the good side, balancing things out. It's as though we enjoy despair? I wonder why? Really, our "bad" all added together is so minor compared to what Mike and the Edwards' might be witnessing in Africa.

Our world leaders met to discuss what to do about Africa. There was an article in the NYTimes Magazine about how even if we sunk a butt-load of money into Africa, that we would not be able to fix anything much because of inner-hatred and fighting amongst groups of people. Money cannot buy hope.

Only one thing gives hope, and we have it. Let's be joyous in that. What have we got to lose, really?

Psalm 13
For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the LORD,
for he has been good to me.

Don't turn back to the pain-- there is no sense to it; there is no hope in it.

-boo

Hey all,

I forgot to really talk about my vacation to SC. I really don't feel like it now either, so just ask me sometime. We went to the beach and this cool aquarium. Here's some pics.

First a picture of my puppy, Colby, wishing you a happy belated independence day-- woot!



A big turtle...



Me, petting a sting ray thing...



Tara, looking at a big shark...



And that's about it for now.

-boo

Things are better, thanks to the Lord above:)

Some lyrics from Relient K (Be My Escape) that speak my innermost thoughts:

"I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave

Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.

I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You

So were You"

I am headed to BG this afternoon-- call if you want to do something. I will be with Tess, of course:)

More words later.

-boo